Are You Dating a Person, or a Version of Them?

The version is easy to love

Early on, you're mostly meeting a highlight reel: the good mood, the effort, the version of them that shows up for a date. That's normal. The problem isn't that the version exists — it's when you quietly start building a future with it instead of with the person.

Three signs you're with the version

• You'd struggle to describe how they act on a bad day.
• Most of what excites you is who you'll become together, not what you actually do together.
• Disagreements feel like interruptions rather than information.

What to do with that

Nothing drastic. Just notice the ordinary bits on purpose: how they treat a waiter, what they're like when a plan falls through, whether you can be bored together without either of you performing. That's where a relationship actually lives.

The love-vs-infatuation quiz scores Future Fit and Independence directly — the two dimensions that separate knowing someone from being in love with the idea of them.